


Who am I to disagree?

by tfm



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Underage Relationship(s), Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, mentions of polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24838837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfm/pseuds/tfm
Summary: Beau had told Veth one secret. It's only right that she tell her the other one, too.Or, a conversation on the deck of the Squall-Eater.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Nott | Veth Brenatto, mentioned Beauregard Lionett/Jester Lavorre - Relationship, mentioned Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 1
Kudos: 85





	Who am I to disagree?

Who am I to disagree?

Beau stared at her ceiling in the bunk of the Squall-Eater.

It had been a weird day.

When she’d agreed to help Jester carve figurines of the Traveler, she hadn’t expected Yasha to join them, and she _definitely_ hadn’t expected a bunch of feelings to start competing with each other.

Beau was reasonably sure she’d done a decent enough job of holding things back, especially since Kamordah. Those feelings were exerting themselves in other, more self-destructive ways, but at least she hadn’t given up her secret.

_Either_ of her secrets.

She’d come so godsdamned close, at the Marquis’ party, with them both looking fucking amazing. Thankfully, Caduceus’s spell had sufficiently distracted her that it hadn’t come. Then, watching Yasha play her bone harp alone on the beach…

Now, though, late at night, with nothing but her thoughts for company, Beau’s mind could no longer be distracted.

She had always had sort of a tenancy to fall in love with anyone that gave her the barest modicum of attention, and even the ones that didn’t. It had been the same way with Tori, the first person that Beau had ever met who had listened to her ideas, who had considered her opinion valuable, who respected her contributions, even if her father didn’t.

It was the whole reason Beau had gone so far into the thing, wanting to impress the cool older girl that winked at her from across the bar, and showed her all the kinds of things that you could do when you were young and horny.

So what if she had a praise kink?

Unable to sleep, Beau got up, and made her way above deck.

She wasn’t the only one up there; Marius, and Orly, and the rest of the crew were taking the night shift. They had to keep sailing through the night if they wanted to make their rendezvous.

‘What are you doing awake?’ The voice seemed to come out of the darkness. Beau jumped.

‘What the fuck, Nott,’ she demanded, on seeing the figure shrouded in shadow. Once upon a time, she’d been able to tell Nott by the glowing yellow eyes. It was a little harder now that she was a halfling again. ‘Shit. Veth.’

‘You make too much noise getting out of bed,’ Veth shrugged. She clambered up to the railing, so that she was close to Beau’s height, and then, seeing the water, seemed to reconsider it, and climbed back down.

There was a long stretch of silence. ‘So why are you awake?’ Veth promoted Beau, and Beau gave half a sigh. The halfling already knew _half_ the story. She might as well know the other half.

‘You know how I’m a barely functioning disaster of a human being?’ She was only half-joking, but it was still a little irksome when Veth said, without hesitation:

‘Yeah?’

Beau almost gave up on it then, but she _needed_ to tell someone, because the whole stupid thing was eating her up inside.

‘Is this about Jester?’ Veth asked. ‘Because I told you, I’m gonna work on it. First, I’ll maybe sort of lighten the mood and ask her how she feels about—’

‘No!’ Beau says, sharply, far loudly than she had intended. She turned around quickly, to make sure that no-one was listening in. Given that it was well after midnight, and all the crew were busy, she was pretty safe. ‘Please, Nott, do _not_ do that.’

‘Do _Nott_ do that?’

‘No! Gah. Veth. I’m sorry.’

Veth doing that would only make the weird shit that was going through Beau’s head even weirder. It would be easier if _no-one_ else knew what’s going on, least of all _Jester_ , who was the problem. Or...well... _one_ of the problems. And _that_ was the problem.

‘Wait, wait, wait. You told me you were in love with Jester—’ Beau doesn’t bother to correct her, because that’s hardly the point, ‘—now you don’t want me to tell her? What if she feels the same way?’

_She doesn’t_ , Beau thought, _but that’s not the reason why_. ‘Just...please, Veth. Forget I ever told you, okay? Acting on those feelings isn’t going to end well for anyone.’ Well now Beau was just backpedaling. It wasn’t too late for her to just go back to bed, and tell no-one anything.

‘Is it because you’re dying?’ Veth gasped. ‘Do you have an incurable disease, and you don’t want Jester to fall in love with you, only for you to die—’

‘It’s because I’m in love with Yasha, too!’ Beau yelled, angrily, before she could stop herself. Ah, shit. Her voice echoed into the night. ‘Or like...have feelings, or whatever. I don’t know.’

Veth stared at her, incredulous. ‘What is it with you humans? You can’t even make a decision about who you’re in love with!’

‘I’m sorry, am I still talking to Miss “his jaw looked so handsome in the moonlight”?’

‘That’s different!’ Veth snapped. ‘That was a silly little crush. But this...you’ve been attracted to Yasha since the first day you met, even _Fjord_ noticed that, and he doesn’t notice anything. Beau, I am _very_ confused.’

‘And I’m not?’

Beau sighed.

Jester and Yasha...they were both completely different sort of attractions. With Jester, it had started off as a friendship, of Beau very slowly coming to terms with the thought that the things she felt might have been more. Yasha, on the other hand, had started off as very much just a physical attraction, and over time, as they’d talked, and shared watches, and learned more about each other, it had kind of morphed into something more.

But Jester was straight, and Yasha was widowed, so each relationship was as impossible as the other. At least, that was what Beau had thought. And it wasn’t as though _either_ of them reciprocated her feelings, so it was a moot point.

Veth was rubbing her chin. ‘Don’t they have that thing in Xhorhas? Polyamory?’

‘I don’t think polyamory is exclusive to Xhorhas,’ Beau laughed, in spite of herself. ‘They have it in the Empire, too.’

‘No, I don’t think so.’ Veth, who had grown up in a tiny farming village…Actually, now that Beau thought about it, Felderwin was actually bigger than Kamordah. But in Kamordah, far more people were cheating on their spouses. ‘It doesn’t matter, anyway. I couldn’t have picked two people that were more unavailable.’

‘You know, I don’t think that’s true.’ Veth’s voice was uncharacteristically soft. ‘You only need to look at Jester to know that she loves you very much, and Yasha finds any excuse to compliment you. You might be far less undesirable than anyone would have thought.’

That was a compliment. At least, Beau was pretty sure it was supposed to be a compliment. It was hard to tell with Veth sometimes. ‘Gee thanks, Veth.’

‘You know you can always count on me to tell it like it is,’ Veth agreed.

‘Only because you’re a terrible liar.’

Veth didn’t disagree.

‘Well, thanks for the…moral support?’ Beau said, still not entirely sure whether the conversation had helped. She was more tired, now, at any rate.

With any luck, her secrets would stay secret for a little while longer.

**Author's Note:**

> I am cleaning up my WIP folder. This has been sitting there, half-finished for six months.
> 
> More WIPs to come, so keep an eye out for some stuff, I guess.


End file.
